Dating in residency: Looking for 'the one' while training - The DO

02.03.2019 2 Comments


Dating a doctor certainly sounds sexy, but dating a resident is a whole other beast. Like any relationship, dating a resident takes some work. However, it can also be incredibly rewarding if your relationship can come out on the other side. If your relationship lasts through the residency then you will be stronger for it, though the demands of being with a doctor never really go away. For the purposes of this article we will be looking at things you need to know when dating a doctor in residency, where one member of the relationship is not a medical professional.

When Victoria Pham, DO, walked into the orthopedics on-call room by accident in East Meadows, New York, she met the man who would propose to her in Tuscany less than a year later. And although Tim Tsai, DO, a family medicine resident in Summit, New Jersey, recently ended a nine-month long-distance courtship, he is more empowered because of the experience.

He advises residents to be mindful of what a relationship reveals about themselves. What these three residents have in common is a willingness to make room in their hectic schedules for relationships, some that even blossomed into love. Find out what worked for these couples and learn how romance can be a priority in residency. Tsai says. Understanding yourself is a skill and you have to keep practicing.

As a family medicine resident, Dr.

#82: Dating During Residency

Pham was surprised to get assistance from Kevin Kim, DO, a third-year orthopedics resident, who rushed to her side to help her lift a patient onto the bed in a CT room. Months later, they reconnected at a happy hour and recalled the story of their accidental meeting and his unexpected assistance. Due to the rigorous nature of their training, medical students and residents often put themselves and their studies and training first, Dr.

Pham says. In a relationship, you have to put the other person first and we did that. We fell in love very quickly. On a vacation in Tuscany, Dr. Kim proposed to Dr.

Dating and relationships while a resident

The couple returned to the States with a renewed focus on unity, partnership and their future. Sometimes people try to postpone relationships until the end of medical school or residency or some other milestone. Be open to possibilities at all times. Maneen became a first-year resident at Memorial Family Medicine. She noticed that he was the person who spearheaded a card campaign for a sick colleague, making sure everyone signed and shared good wishes.

Amini, now a fellow in sports medicine in Fort Worth, Texas, says she knew immediately that Dr. As a result, residents were forced to adapt their relationships and develop a hierarchy, even though those relationships often were a source of support.

Despite applying coping mechanisms to navigate their relationships, residents felt strong identity dissonance. One way some residents minimized this dissonance was to gravitate toward relationships with others who shared their professional identity. They also actively sought out social comparison to reinforce their relationship decisions.

Participants in our study described tension between their professional and personal identities and the resulting negative impact on their relationships. This is concerning because our data suggest that having a supportive personal relationship can affect resident wellness. Burnout, in turn, could lead to further distress, such as alcohol abuse or dependence, suicidal ideation, higher risk of motor vehicle incidents, and greater relationship stress. While duty hours restrictions have been proposed as a solution to minimize the negative impact of residency training on resident wellness, 13 our study suggests that workload is not the only stressor.

Our participants described workload intensity as being exacerbated by the strong professional identity associated with being a doctor. Schaufeli and colleagues 19 similarly highlighted the connection between burnout and role conflicts. An exaggerated sense of responsibility, guilt, self-doubt, perfectionism, desire for control, and drive to overwork can lead to self-neglect and disintegration of close relationships, 20 thereby creating the potential for burnout. The concerning spin-off effect of this burnout is its impact on patient care.

For example, junior doctors with burnout are prone to relating to patients in a more callous and cynical way depersonalization. Our findings suggest that the burdens e. The hierarchy of relationships that participants established to address these demands was a way of mitigating the effects of the poor work-life balance imposed by their training.

images dating and relationships while a resident. I'm trying to be patient and understanding. If your post doesn't show up shortly after posting, make sure that it?. Here are 5 tips on surviving relationships as a resident. there is a major expectation that many fail to recognize while in a relationship and it's. › dating-a-doctor-in-residency.

Slavin and colleagues 22 similarly discussed the training environment as an overlooked component for interventions aimed at improving medical student mental health. On the basis of these findings, we posit that curriculum structures-formal, informal, and hidden 23 -gave rise to and reinforced the poor work-life balance that residents experienced.

As noted above, improving resident quality of life and preventing burnout will not be achieved by residents simply working fewer hours. Doing so may provide insight into how the hidden curriculum contributes to resident wellness and provide educators with opportunities to develop broad, proactive interventions. Our study had some limitations.

First, all of the participants were Canadian residents, primarily at one medical school. Second, our findings represent the experiences of a limited number of specialties. Given the importance of the training environment, we recommend that future research explore the relationships of residents from different training contexts to further understand the impact of curricula on wellness.

In addition, as causation is not the goal of qualitative research, our study did not seek to establish such. Our findings add to the debate regarding how best to promote and maintain resident wellness by highlighting that stressors go beyond workload; rather, professional identity plays a contributory role in resident wellness.

We have offered some understanding of the tension between professional identity and personal relationships that is derived from the demands of the training environment. We must consider the roles of the formal, informal, and hidden curricula in educating our medical trainees, to foster healthy and humanistic physicians who will deliver good patient care.

Have your personal relationships family, friends, significant others influenced your identity as a doctor? If so, how? Have your relationships influenced your choice of speciality? Probe: What do your relationships look like? Nature of relationships-Serendipitous formation? Proximity formation with people you work with? How stable are these relationships? How has it been for your families, significant other, or close friends dealing with you being a resident?

Probes: How do you feel about the loss of relationships? Do you mourn the loss of relationships? Are you future looking? Are you resigned? Do you perceive this as a temporary feature? How do you deal with the demands of residency versus those of your personal relationships? How do you deal with them when they are in direct conflict?

Probes: What strategies have you adopted to be able to maintain relationships? How do you prioritize? To what extent do you take your relationships for granted?

Maintaining a successful relationship during residency may require both For Dr?. George, a second-year emergency medicine resident at the Naval in Portsmouth, Virginia, this interaction qualifies as a digital date night. Residency poses challenges for residents' personal relationships. Research suggests residents rely on family and friends for support during. Dating in residency: Looking for 'the one' while training He advises residents to be mindful of what a relationship reveals about themselves.

Which ones? An AM Rounds blog post on this article is available at academicmedicineblog. Other disclosures: None reported. Ethical approval: This project received ethics approval from the University of Toronto Research Ethics Board protocol reference no. National Center for Biotechnology InformationU.

Academic Medicine. Acad Med. Published online Apr Marcus Law M.

Medical students and residents have unique scheduling challenges. While it might be tempting to put off dating during training, Jen and young in your relationship in that you know, you're not married yet, you're engaged. During these times, I would read my past journal entries, searching for the relationship that so often seemed out of reach. Our first date was. if not the top priority, when dating a resident. to build a new relationship during a residency is.

Find articles by Marcus Law. Michelle Lam M. Lam is a family physician, Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. Find articles by Michelle Lam. Diana Wu D. Wu is a family physician, Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Find articles by Diana Wu. Paula Veinot P. Veinot is an independent research consultant, Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Find articles by Paula Veinot. Maria Mylopoulos M. Find articles by Maria Mylopoulos. Author information Copyright and License information Disclaimer. Corresponding author.

Published by Wolters Kluwer Health, Inc. The work cannot be changed in any way or used commercially without permission from the journal. This article has been cited by other articles in PMC. Method The authors used a constructivist grounded theory approach.

Results Residents perceived their relationships to be influenced by their evolving professional identity: Although personal relationships were important, being a doctor superseded them. Conclusions Erosion of personal relationships could affect resident wellness and lead to burnout.

Participants We conducted purposive and theoretical sampling of Canadian residents from various specialties to ensure that we had a diverse group of participants.

Dating in residency: Looking for ‘the one’ while training

Open in a separate window. Data collection and analysis Semistructured interviews with the participating residents were conducted in person or by telephone by three of the authors M. Results We identified four themes: the influence of an evolving professional identity on personal relationships; forced adaptation and a hierarchy of relationships; coping with relationship issues; and mitigating identity dissonance.

The influence of an evolving professional identity on personal relationships Participants perceived their personal relationships as being influenced by their evolving professional identity of becoming and being a doctor. Coping with relationship issues Poor work-life balance seemed to result in relationship problems.

Mitigating identity dissonance Despite using coping strategies to navigate their relationships, residents articulated a strong identity dissonance-a clash between their professional and personal identities-that evoked conflicting emotions. Limitations Our study had some limitations. Conclusion Our findings add to the debate regarding how best to promote and maintain resident wellness by highlighting that stressors go beyond workload; rather, professional identity plays a contributory role in resident wellness.

What does being a professional mean to you? Tell me about your relationships. How do you feel about these changes in relationships? Do you have any other comments?

End of interview a Questions were adjusted during the study to explore emergent themes. Footnotes An AM Rounds blog post on this article is available at academicmedicineblog.

But I understand if you don't want relationship questions on your sub! but if he receives something during rounds, there's a good chance he'll see it and forget. Anyone start a residency while being single and now in a successful serious relationship? I know that I can always date residents or nurses but.

References 1. Prevalence of depression and depressive symptoms among resident physicians: A systematic review and meta-analysis. A year perspective on the prevalence of depression: The Stirling County Study. Arch Gen Psychiatry. Dyrbye L, Shanafelt T. A narrative review on burnout experienced by medical students and residents.


Med Educ. Raj KS. Well-being in residency: A systematic review. J Grad Med Educ. West J Med. Social support and resilience to stress: From neurobiology to clinical practice. Psychiatry Edgmont. Cohen JS, Patten S. Well-being in residency training: A survey examining resident physician satisfaction both within and outside of residency training and mental health in Alberta.

BMC Med Educ. Earle L, Kelly L. Coping strategies, depression, and anxiety among Ontario family medicine residents.

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